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> Jealousy of the Nintendo kid, Starring Wario and Waluigi
WarioMan
 Posted: Dec 10 2014, 12:10 AM
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Group: Warioware fanatic
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[A/N: Tekki and Cherry are owned by my DA friend, Princesstekki (who also goes by LovelyTekki on Fanfiction.net), whereas G-Bomber belongs to...well, G-Bomber.]

-Jealousy of the Nintendo kid-

[Overworld BGM: Greenhorn Forest (Wario World)]

Christmas season is here in Diamond City, CA of the United States on our beloved planet Earth. The evil Red Falcon and his personal army of alien savages - in addition to his loyal Hate Bombers - are dead as of World War III along with certain other followers of his: Crasher, Blaster, and even the Five Dastardly Bombers. Only Purple Basilisk is still alive today despite his banishment to the underworld, nowadays affiliated with no one but himself and his five Chaotic Bombers. Bottom line, the Earth is once again at peace thanks to the efforts of us Contras and our close friends...

Even the Game Central Station within Blaze Bomber's Diamond Arcade World was having a Christmas season with no stray Cy-Bugs, Xenomorphs and/or Terminator robots running rampant from their respective arcade games. Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope von Schweetz, Fix-It Felix Jr. and Sergeant Tamora Jean "T.J." Calhoun are planning to spend Christmas Day with their friends in the real world, be they the ones in Diamond City or those from distant worlds like planet Bomber and Skyworld. Yes, everyone was happy to celebrate the holidays, especially 9-Volt, Phoebe, Cheerful White and Cute Pink.

However, only one person was not in the mood for celebrating Christmas, much less with the loyal employees of his beloved game company, WarioWare Inc. Lately he had been harboring his jealousy over the all-too-obvious fact that 9-Volt's Nintendo-themed microgames are perhaps one of the best genres in any WarioWare game to date. Yes, Wario was indeed jealous of 9-Volt, too ungrateful to even realize that had it not been for variety of microgame genres implemented by the associates other than his own, let alone 9-Volt, WarioWare Inc. might not have survived past its very first installment from day one. In his mind, his own genre should have been the one to top everything else in each microgame compilation since he's the CEO of the company. How dare that little brat have more attention when he's not even the founder himself, the money-lover thought! At one point after playing Super Smash Bros. for Wii U in the Gamer arena (based upon 9-Volt's titular minigame from Game & Wario), he believed it was high time he asserted his position as the CEO. He called out to 9-Volt to challenge him to a one-on-one match in a virtual arena Dr. Crygor built one time for Wario ever since Super Smash Bros. Brawl, to hone his fighting skills for future tournaments in the distant Smash World. But oh boy, did the man make a big mistake...one he miraculously lived to tell the tale to Waluigi at the Neo Platinum Sports Bar & Gaming building, all the while playing Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition, one of a few arcade cabinets available given the space.

"So there I was, challenging 9-Volt to a Smash Bros. match in my virtual arena," began Wario. "Of course, it's modeled after the WarioWare Inc. arena in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Why it only showed up again in the 3DS version but the one from 9-Volt's minigame in Game & Wario made the cut in the Wii U version instead, I'll never know. If you ask me, there should have been a battle arena modeled after my Pirates minigame, because we all know just how awesome I am."

"Ehh, they're just jealous of your superiority," scoffed Waluigi. "Me, I may be an 'Assist Trophy' in both Brawl and the two versions of Smash Bros. 4, but the power of my trusty tennis racket knows no bounds! I'll smash those bozos for anyone who summoned me any day, preferably you because we're bros and all that."

"Oh, don't get me started on what happened near the end of my battle in the virtual arena. I made sure all the items were on, but he just HAD to put that stupid cloud whistle in the Assist Trophy before going in with that...that...bow of his! Gah, everything went from awesome to completely hectic! I got pulverized by a large-sized ball lightning big time, as if the small electric bursts weren't enough to 'teach me a lesson'! Greed begets sorrow? Pshhh! Just pure fairy tale nonsense to get all snot-nosed kids sleeping like babies in their beds, if you ask me. I'm supposed to be the powerful one in Smash Bros., not him! Heck, he isn't even in the playable cast to begin with save for his Gamer stage as a little reference! Then again, there's Mii Fighters in three different classes to choose from, but...ugh!"

"That kid knows nothing about being rich nor the fact that anyone can pick up an Assist Trophy to summon someone! Preferably you in my book, I mean."

"One of these days 9-Volt is gonna be on the receiving end if an opponent like good ol' me for example, is lucky enough to bring in that blonde airhead instead. Him and Pit better watch their step and keep on their toes, 'cause I'm back in town since Super Smash Bros. Brawl on Wii, baby! Wah, ha ha ha!"

"You should teach him a lesson in humility, that way he'll be a laughingstock with no choice but to realize that he's just a kid who has no experience in being a rich CEO."

"Yep, and then I'll be loved and respected amongst every citizen and visitor alike in Smash World once again, if not Diamond City!"

Wario and Waluigi high-fived each other, the latter one saying, "Here's what we're gonna do, and trust me, it'll be the best prank we ever dreamed of in our careers as Mario and Luigi's archrivals..."

[End BGM]

--------------------

Thus, did the infamous duo begin their plot to make 9-Volt look selfish and bad in front of everyone, including both his friends and guardian angels. They entered WarioWare Inc. where all the presents from other people to their friends were kept under a Christmas tree.

You're the mean ones, Wario Bros.
You really are the heels,
You're both as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel, Wario Brooooothers!
You're the bad bananas with greasy black peels!


Wario and Waluigi, clad in their phony 9-Volt disguises (minus the helmet, but rather a Santa hat for each), made a stealthy attempt to swipe all the presents and the tree's decorations.

You're the monsters, Wario Bros.
Your hearts are both empty holes,
Your brains are full of spiders, you have garlic in your souls, Wario Brooooothers!
I wouldn't touch either of you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!


Waluigi opened up wide a large burglar's bag for Wario to send the ornaments inside by using a nearby cane as a cue stick, followed by stuffing the rest of the tree decorations.

You're the foul ones, Wario Bros.
You have termites in your smiles,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Wario Brooooothers!
Given the choice between the three of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!


"The decorations are in one bag, the presents in the other..." Then Wario pulled out a small card and a purple marker. "And now for the pièce de résistance!" However, he took a moment to think back to how better his microgames were than 9-Volt's, at the very least in his mind.

You're the rotters, Wario Bros.
You're the kings of sinful sots,
Your hearts are dead tomatoes splotched with purple spots, Wario Brooooothers!
You're each a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!


"That oughta show the snot-nosed brat what happens when he dares challenge your richness and power," bragged Waluigi. "He may be popular with the pretty ladies, some of whom are older than him, due to his equal-opportunity kindness and stuff, but not for looong!"

"Let's see, what shall I write?...ah-ha! I've got it!" He wasted not a single second writing '9-VOLT WAS HERE', but he could not resist drawing his own trademark nose and mustache below the words. "By tomorrow morning on Christmas Day, we'll be watching the fireworks. People will think 9-Volt was secretly a selfish brat all along, and I'm the awesome superstar, not to mention a ladies' man! Teach me a lesson about greed being bad with her help, will he? Bah! I'll show him..."

--------------------

Wario began imagining himself sitting on a throne in his golden castle full of money, gold and jewelry as the world's richest Smash Bros. contender, with the female grownups from various Nintendo franchises whom have made it in the 3DS and Wii U versions of Super Smash Bros., be they playable fighter or Assist Trophy. Only Palutena, Dark Samus, Mother Brain, Midna and Ashley aren't present at all due to his viewing them as a potential threat to both his castle and its riches therein. At the center of the throne room was a giant, golden Christmas tree with jewels for decorations.

As for the male combatants and Assist Trophies alike, they would "serve" as his personal janitors, especially Mario and Luigi, with Waluigi as their boss to make sure his castle and treasures remained neat and tidy. Miraculously, he was able to "employ" some of the dangerous villains like Ganondorf, Nightmare and Ghirahim, as his other slaves in drudgery too. Finally, he'd hail himself as the hero - and brand 9-Volt, Phoebe, White, Pink, 18-Volt, Kat, Ana and Pit as partners-in-crime against his riches. "Money and jewels make the world go round...and pretty ladies, too! Wah, ha ha ha! Bill Gates, eat your heart out 'cause Wario is the richest man in the world! YAHOOOOO!" He laughed happily with Peach, Zelda, Samus (without her Power Suit on), Rosalina, Lucina, Lyn, Phosphora and even his girlfriend Mona, at his side. All of them, sans Mona, donned the classic Wario uniforms, consisting of yellow shirts and "W" hats, and purple overalls. "Aye, that's the stuff! Now that's the kind of place a guy like me deserves, especially on Christmas Day!"

His dream came to a close as Waluigi interrupted him with a tap to the shoulder, warning him that it's time for them to get out of here and spend the night at Wario Castle in the Mushroom Kingdom, intent on hiding there in case something went wrong with their plan to make 9-Volt look bad. They quickly grabbed their bags and blew a Warp Pipe whistle to summon the aforementioned pipe, and jumped in to teleport to the Mushroom Kingdom just outside Wario's castle.

You nauseate me, Wario Bros.
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're both crooked dirty jockeys and you drive a crooked hoss, Wario Brooooothers!
Your souls are an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!


You're the foul ones, Wario Bros.
You're the nasty wasty skunks,
Your hearts are full of unwashed socks, your souls are full of gunk, Wario Brooooothers!
The three words that best describe the two of you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!


--------------------

[R&R BGM: WarioWare, Inc. (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)]

"Whew! Safe at last..." said Waluigi, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"Hah, you said it, bro!" agreed Wario. "All we gotta do now is wait."

"Did you grab your Wii U console and Super Smash Bros. for Wii U? I'm dyin' to do some team battles with you against whichever fighters we feel like beating up!"

"I sure did! Time to show the likes of Mario, Luigi, Pit, Mega Man, and even the Mii versions of 9-Volt and Phoebe who's boss around here in 8-Player Smash!"

"Ahh, so the other guys transferred some of their Miis here when they finally got to try out the game?"

"Yep, for 8-Player Smash, but only so I can defeat them and prove my Smash Bros. prowess! Huzzah!"

[Interrupt BGM]

But before they could even turn on Wario's Wii U console, let alone put the game in, an explosion went off outside his castle, causing them to yelp in fear. "Oh no! The Smash Bros. community have tracked us down!"

"Ehh, quit worrying, Waluigi! It's probably just a couple of petty thieves who think they can steal my riches on Christmas Day." Thus, Wario went to check out the commotion, only to run all the way back when he saw a certain group of people who just so happened to warp here from Diamond City upon discovering he and Waluigi had indeed dressed up like 9-Volt to make him look bad. "You were right...we HAVE been tracked down, but it's not the Smash Bros. community. It's...it's..."

[Alert BGM: Rampaging Din (Paper Mario: Sticker Star)]

The Wario Bros. panicked as they hugged each other tightly, and saw the folks getting closer. "Aaron? Ami? Bill? Lance? Blaze? Arctic? And...oh...NO!" The six of us were not alone, for we were accompanied by none other than Mona and the other WarioWare associates - especially 9-Volt, Phoebe and 5-Volt - along with Yuffie Kisaragi, Tekki (the pink-haired girl from ChiWorld), Cherry (also from ChiWorld), G-Bomber, Pit, and finally, Lightning Flash Phosphora.

"As much as I hate to say this, bro...I think your-I mean our dreams of richness are as good as shattered!"

"Relax, Waluigi, I'll handle this. Look, this was all just a misunderstanding! 9-Volt's been getting all the attention and not me because he's just as sneaky and spoiled as Jimmy and Sarah are from Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. I know it because I'm the CEO and he's not, so therefore, I should be getting all the attention around here. But nooo! 9-Volt and Phoebe says 'greed is bad'!"

"Don't you dare lie your way out of this, buster!" scolded 5-Volt. "We found your trademark nose and mustache drawing on that card you left, and I knew something was fishy even when you perfectly wrote '9-VOLT WAS HERE' because everybody knows my only son would never do things like that! And unlike you, he makes his microgames out of love, care and respect."

"Plus, purple's not even my color," added 9-Volt.

"Let Mona, Phosphora and your mom handle this, 9-Volt," Phoebe said calmly.

Waluigi childishly threw his hands up in the air. "What?! That's hogwash! Who are you gonna believe: a little rat who thinks he can teach my brother a lesson, or a couple honest buds like us? You never let us have any fun for cryin' out loud!"

"No wonder Mario and Luigi don't like you guys," commented Pit. "You're obviously greedy and jealous."

"Stuff it, angel face, or I'll smash you with my tennis racket!" That remark earned him a hammer to his head from Tekki and Cherry, flattening him momentarily.

Then Yuffie had an idea on how we could punish Wario and Waluigi for almost ruining Christmas by making 9-Volt look selfish and bad. "I think it's time we taught these bozos an even bigger lesson on how and why greed begets sorrow. Whaddya think, fellas?"

"I agree," answered Blaze Bomber. "After all, money can only buy temporary happiness. You're lucky Ami chose not to do more damage to your castle with her toon bombs, when all it took was a blast to the golden doors for us to get inside."

"As the old saying goes," reminded Lance, "if you want something you gotta work hard to earn it; you can't just take what's not yours. By the way, live feeds don't lie."

"D'oh!" yelped Wario. "I forgot to turn off the security cameras at my house!"

"What are you, Homer Simpson?" asked Tekki.

"You and Waluigi have a lot of nerve impersonating 9-Volt like that!" shouted Cherry.

"Then it's settled: we've all come to a unanimous decision that both of you are to be taught a lesson once and for all," announced Phosphora, who put a curse on Wario and Waluigi by creating a pair of thunderclouds above their heads. "Everytime you think of money, gold and jewels, or even express your jealousy of not only Mario and Luigi but 9-Volt, most of all, lightning bolts will strike you really good. Should you persist, a ball lightning or two will getcha! 9-Volt rightfully taught you a lesson with my help and you know it! And don't think you can rely on Assist Trophies for power!"

[End BGM]
[Fight BGM: Never Let Up! (Mario & Luigi: Dream Team)]

The Wario Bros. screamed, running for their lives as the thunderclouds followed them everywhere, striking them with lightning bolts and ball lightning as they went, followed by another electric burst which magically changed them into bowling pins. Then a large ball lightning came "rolling" down the floor like a bowling ball until it blasted them really good for a "strike", turning them back into their normal selves.

"YEOWCH!" cried Wario. "This is exactly why I never made it past chapter 14 in <i>Kid Icarus: Uprising</i>! These lightning attacks are super-duper scary!"

"S-s-same here, bro!" panicked Waluigi. "That lightning-happy bimbo is making clowns out of us!"

"Please! HAVE MERCY!"

"After you and Waluigi have scrubbed all the floors in Peach's castle as punishment for almost ruining Christmas for our friends," I replied sternly, "then we can talk about mercy!"

"Now's where we six Contras take you away," stated Ami, "but we won't need to."

"Yep, not when the thunderclouds are here to 'persuade' you to behave," laughed Arctic Bomber. "Even I'm not that greedy!"

"Glad to hear it," said Bill. "It should serve as a good lesson for those two."

Wario panicked again, "9-Volt! Pit! Make it stop! We promise not to talk trash about either of you nor Phosphora anymore!" The thundercloud interrupted his begging with another ball lightning to his butt. "YEEEEAAA-HA-HA-HAOOOWWWW!!!"

"No way, Jose," responded Pit. "You're the one who's jealous, not 9-Volt."

Phosphora smirked in agreement. "In fact, you could use a little exercise to shed a few pounds. Have fun with your lumps of coal and cleaning up Peach's castle throughout the holiday season, bad boys!"

"I'll be back for a rematch with 9-Volt in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, bigger than ever! And I'll see to it that I grab whatever item shows up and use it against him, even an Assist Trophy! Watch your step and keep on your toes, kiddy boy, 'cause the big boss of WarioWare Inc. is--OUCH! Okay, listen to me nice and easy, thundercloud...be nice...Be nice...AAAAAAAH!!"

On the run once again from the inescapable curse put on them, Wario and Waluigi were forced to flee from the castle and tried to escape to Diamond City, but the thunderclouds "persuaded" them otherwise with a barrage of electric arrows to the face. "OW OW OW OW OUCH!" screamed Waluigi. "Okay, okay, we're going to Peach's castle! No need to get up close and--" He was interrupted by a thunder bolt to his butt. "AAAAAAHH, HA HAH HOOOWWCH!!"

"Gotta remember what ma always taught me and Waluigi in case of profit crisis...think happy thoughts and cover my--" The thundercloud above Wario's head gave him yet another ball lightning to his butt. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" And thus he was forced to constantly jump up and down with Waluigi to avoid getting struck over and over, not knowing that only by being nice and generous to everyone, including 9-Volt, up to New Year's Day can the curse itself be removed. "MOMMY! There was this blonde airhead, and she's being mean to us...!"

[End BGM]

--------------------

[Ending BGM: Ahead on Our Way (Final Fantasy VII)]

Later, back in Diamond City we helped each other return the stolen property to WarioWare Inc. where they belong. "What I don't understand," G-Bomber began, "is why a grown man like Wario would be so jealous of an innocent child like 9-Volt. He should know better because a little kindness works wonders. Christmas isn't just about the presents; it's about spending quality time with your friends and family. Sharing and caring are what matters."

"Greed and jealousy are what ruined his own chances of spending the holidays with his associates," elaborated Bill. "If people weren't greedy and jealous, whether on Christmas or otherwise, there'd be no senseless fighting in the real world."

"And no bloody wars either," added Lance. "But aside all that, I too am disappointed in your boss."

"I know, right?" chirped Mona in agreement. "He should also know that without the variety of microgames, much less 9-Volt's Nintendo-themed genre, WarioWare Inc. wouldn't have survived past our very first game."

"The biggest mistake he and Waluigi made was framing my son after he lost fair and square in the virtual Smash Bros. match," summarized 5-Volt.

Then Pit said, "They'll be paying for their selfishness for a while as the castle's janitors. Come to think of it, we should donate Wario's treasures to charity sometime."

"Thanks for always being here for me when need be...especially you, Phosphora," said 9-Volt with a smile and a warm hug.

"Aww, of course I'm always here to protect you, sweetie." The lightning girl hugged and kissed him affectionately in return. "You're the nicest person we know, and I would never harm you or Pit during a Smash Bros. match, even if someone else like Wario was lucky enough to summon me with an Assist Trophy."

"Really?" Phoebe asked curiously.

"That's the truth of it," answered Tekki. "Some people think that Assist Trophies exist to satisfy their selfish desires, but they're so wrong!"

"Then again, there are quite a few such as the blue Devil from Devil World, who love nothing more than causing mischief to everyone, even the person who summoned them..." admitted Cherry.

"Assist Trophies only work for those who truly respect us in Smash World," elaborated Phosphora. "Oh, and get this: when Palutena tried to summon me one time, I just kicked mud on her dress and flew away." 9-Volt, Phoebe, Pit and Cherry laughed with her in agreement.

"Nice one, Phos!" blurted Pit, earning him a playful noogie to the head by his girlfriend, followed by an affectionate kiss under a mistletoe (which 9-Volt held above them).

"Merry Christmas, everyone...and to all a good night..." 9-Volt announced with a yawn, feeling sleepy from a long day he had during Christmas Eve.

"I think it's beddy-bye time for a certain little guy," giggled Phosphora, picking 9-Volt up in her caring arms to carry off to bed with Mona and 5-Volt following behind.

"Yeah, me too..." chirped Pit, stretching out his arms and wings with a yawn, eager to await the good surprises he and his friends are in for come Christmas Day.

"Good night, 9-Volt," Phoebe told her best friend. "Sweet dreams."

THE END

(Ending Credits)
Wario -- CHARLES MARTINET
Waluigi -- CHARLES MARTINET
9-Volt -- TARA STRONG
Phoebe -- HYNDEN WALCH
Pit -- ANTONY DEL RIO
Phosphora -- KARI WAHLGREN
Aaron (me) -- MYSELF
Ami -- JANICE KAWAYE
Bill Rizer -- BOB BUCHHOLZ
Lance Bean -- SYLVESTER STALLONE
Blaze Bomber -- SCOTT MENVILLE
Arctic Bomber -- GREY DELISLE
Mona -- LESLIE SWAN
5-Volt -- GREY DELISLE
Yuffie Kisaragi -- CHRISTY CARLSON ROMANO
Tekki -- ANDREA LIBMAN
Cherry -- ASHLEIGH BALL
G-Bomber -- HERSELF

[End BGM]
[End Credits]

--------------------
"Faster than a donut! Stronger than cardboard! I am Wario-Man!!" ~Wario (from WarioWare: Touched!)

"What is Bill Rizer? It is just the name of a single entity who has been gone for centuries." ~Master Contra (from Neo Contra)

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