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> Turbo Klaus!, Christmas 2016 fic
 Posted: Dec 23 2016, 10:02 AM
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-Turbo Klaus!-


[Opening BGM: Cell (Bomberman Hero)]

Once upon a time...on the far reaches of Arendelle in the magical world of Disneyland, a self-proclaimed "greatest racer ever" was busy putting his anti-Christmas scheme into action. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time since the day Wreck-It Ralph used his own Cy-bug mutation against him in order to save Sugar Rush. And by using his "partnership" with petty dictator Purple Basilisk and the Chaotic Bombers through manipulative means, he was not only restored to his original, pre-mutated self, he "thanked" his partner by implanting a virus into Siren Bomber's brain to make her his second-in-command. Turbo how she felt about being cheated out of her selfish desires to kidnap Pit, Fix-It Felix Jr. and Wario for herself; he even wasted no time siphoning what remained of Basilisk's game boss-summoning technology from the Vaati incident into his own code.

For he did not plan on sharing anything to begin with, just as much as hated sharing the spotlight with other people and arcade games alike (much less RoadBlasters, one of Atari's classics from which he crashed out of jealousy in 1987). Therefore, he summoned Frost Walrus from Mega Man X4 to freeze Basilisk and the remaining Chaotic Bombers, and requested the three Trix witches - Icy, Darcy and Stormy - to follow him. He had also brought Flame Mammoth from Mega Man X, and Magnet Bomber from Super Bomberman 2, to be his other subordinates besides Frost Walrus. Icy thought the oversized Maverick with the same theme as hers to be less than useful because of his sluggishness, but as long as he was able to freeze things with his signature move, known as Frost Tower, she could overlook that flaw (not to mention his obvious weakness to fire).

Frost Walrus was originally marked for disposal as a Maverick because of his bad temper and rowdiness, but he avoided that when General gave him a chance to join the Repliforce. On the day they started their coup, Frost Walrus was pleased as for him it was a perfect excuse to riot as much as he liked. Flame Mammoth, on the other hand, viewed himself as the most powerful of all Reploids due to his massive size. There was nothing he loved more than stomping anyone smaller than himself into dust, which put him on bad terms with the subordinates that served under his unit, even before Sigma turned Maverick himself and instigated a war against mankind. Therefore, Flame Mammoth's unit refused to join him in the rebellion, but he didn't care as long as he got his jollies from mashing whichever pint-sized victim he saw. As for Magnet Bomber, he simply hated being the first in his group, the Five Dastardly Bombers, to be defeated in battle, and he hated Cheerful White (aka. Shirobon, White Bomber) for always getting rid of him first. All three video game bosses had their AI reprogrammed by Turbo to help him prevent Ralph and friends from thwarting his plans to ruin Christmas.

"That's right, Frost Walrus and Flame Mammoth! Mash the gifts! Send their remains on the conveyor belt to be crushed by a wonderful invention I stole from Bowser's Castle: the nutcracker-shaped Present-Cracker! I feel the same way he did when Mario, Luigi, Toad and Peach stopped him from ruining Christmas, but what I'm gonna do will be even better than his failed plan. Christmas, bah humkoop!"

"Does the boss even need to tell us exactly where to put these boxes?!" huffed Frost Walrus. "I'm not that stupid!"

"Ahh, who cares?" replied Flame Mammoth. "You gotta take pride in yourself and have fun stomping weaklings into dust. Watch, and be amazed..."

He demonstrated his point by performing one of his signature moves, the Jump Press, on a stolen RoadBlasters arcade cabinet, smashing it into bits and pieces of scrap metal and silicon chips. "HAAAH! See, just like that. But the very best part is, X isn't here to abuse Storm Eagle's Storm Tornado weapon against me this time, because during the whole battle, he was all 'Storm Tornado' this and 'Storm Tornado' that...GAH! I hate him for ruining my pride and joy!"

"So why'd you bring me here?" demanded Magnet Bomber. "Don't get me wrong; a bigger chance in the spotlight is good enough for me. But my leader, Plasma Bomber, would've been a better option. Or hell, even Brain Bomber; he knows how to build mechs that won't backfire easily."

"Ahh, but where's your sense of outranking other subordinates?" informed Turbo. "They always brag on and on about how they have better stamina and powers and blah blah blah...I know what it's like to have my spotlight stolen. Scarmiglione, the Fiend of Earth, knows too."

"Heh heh heh...You may be on to something."

"All you have to do is obey Disneyland's soon-to-be King Turbo," Siren Bomber told Magnet Bomber, "and we'll get along just fine. Then again, my singing voice will always keep every living man in line whether they like it or not..."

"And like every other kingdom, the king needs a queen," said Turbo, putting on a Santa costume. "It's actually simple: when I'm through with Elsa, the world will blame Santa Claus! He flat-out refused to grant MY Christmas wishes every year since my own game, TurboTime, came out in 1982! It was a big hit at Litwak's Arcade, but then that conceited RoadBlasters game just had to show up five years later...Bah, humkoop! A little bit of hogging the spotlight never hurt anyone as long as I'm the one doing it, even if it meant stealing Vanellope's role as rightful ruler of Sugar Rush later on. But I suppose Santa and his merry elves don't see it my way, so I'm gonna pin the blame on him as punishment! Enough crushing the stolen presents for now, boys and girls! Bring me my beloved future bride at once, for she'll be mine and mine alone faster than you can say Turbo-tastic!"

[End BGM]


[Title BGM: Title Theme (New Super Mario Bros. Wii)]


Wreck-It Ralph, from Fix-It Felix Jr.
Vanellope von Schweetz, from Sugar Rush
Fix-It Felix Jr., also from Fix-It Felix Jr.
Sergeant Tamora Jean "T.J." Calhoun, from Hero's Duty

-JapanAnimeGirl's (aka. HedgehogSailorSun) OCs-
Keyla, Vampire/Bowling Princess of Roseland (and 9-Volt's guardian angel)
Patricia, Mistress of Bouncing Balls (and 9-Volt's guardian angel)
Maya, Flying Girl (and Daniel's love interest)

Kristoff, whom Anna is with after the events of Frozen
Sven, Kristoff's loyal pet reindeer and companion
Olaf, an enchanted snowman brought to life by Elsa's snow magic

Blaze Bomber (my Bomberman OC), lead conductor
18-Volt (9-Volt's "P2")
5-Volt, 9-Volt's mother
Phoebe (9-Volt's "P3"; my WarioWare OC)
Cheerful White/Shirobon
Cute Pink/Pretty Bomber
Yuffie Kisaragi, formerly from the distant land of Wutai (nowadays living at Diamond Dojo as Kat and Ana's mentor; one of 9-Volt's guardian angels)
Kat and Ana, twin ninja kindergartners
Louie, White's kangaroo sidekick from some of his adventures (notably Bomberman Hero; his guest appearance will be for my DA friend DemonLouie, aka. BlackLouie (via
Lover Bomber and Molten Bomber (Dakwater's Bomberman OCs), visiting from planet Bomber
G-Bomber (my DA friend herself), also visiting from planet Bomber
Tekki (my other DA friend herself), visiting from ChiWorld
Cherry (Tekki's OC; one of 9-Volt's guardian angels), also visiting from ChiWorld
Dark Pit (aka. Pittoo)
Aaron (me)
Ami Onuki, from Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
Bill Rizer
Lance Bean
Yumi Yoshimura, from Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
Arctic Bomber (my other Bomberman OC), currently taking two days off from her part-time job at Arcade Bomber's Mega-Tastic Retro Entertainment, because it's Christmas

[End BGM]

"Faster than a donut! Stronger than cardboard! I am Wario-Man!!" ~Wario (from WarioWare: Touched!)

"What is Bill Rizer? It is just the name of a single entity who has been gone for centuries." ~Master Contra (from Neo Contra)

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-A very special thanks to Kenshin (aka. Yumifan) for these sigs.-
 Posted: Dec 23 2016, 10:02 AM
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PART 1 OF 2: Warm visit gone cold

"I'm a bit nervous, guys...You really think the people of Diamond City will appreciate what we're doing for them?"

"They will, Blaze Bomber," answered Mona. "All you gotta do is direct us with a conductor's baton."

"We never really had a 'Christmas' on my planet, even before Red Falcon, Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber invaded it and turned me into one of the Hate Bombers. And that was centuries ago."

"I know," said 9-Volt, "but you're back to your normal self, thanks to Aaron, Ami, Bill and Lance of the heroic Contras! We'll help you learn about Christmas as we sing the holiday songs like all the other Christmas Carolers do."

"And I wish Wario were here to sing along with us..." added the redhead. "He said he'd do his own stuff like visit Wreck-It Ralph before going to hang out with his brother Waluigi, in the Mushroom Kingdom. Boy, is he gonna be sorry he missed out! Alrighty Blaze, you ready?"

"Whenever you're ready. Well, here goes nothing!" Blaze Bomber waved his arms in a pendulum-like fashion, similar to that of a conductor at an orchestra.

[Christmas BGM: We Wish You a Merry Christmas (in C Major)]

We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,
Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,
Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,
And bring it right here.
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

We won't go till we get some,
We won't go till we get some,
We won't go till we get some,
So bring it right here.
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

We all like our figgy pudding,
We all like our figgy pudding,
We all like our figgy pudding,
With all it's good cheers
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

[End BGM]
[Overworld BGM: White Wafers (Kirby's Return to Dream Land)]

"Ahhh, you were right, Rizer!" cheered Arctic Bomber. "It does feel good to do a good deed on Christmas!"

"And you couldn't have picked a better time to take off from work at Arcade Bomber's Mega-Tastic Retro Entertainment in Oakland, CA," replied Bill.

"Now you know why it's important that we all be on our best behavior," said Lance. "Hey 9-Volt, how long are Keyla, Patricia and Maya staying in Arendelle with Anna and Elsa?"

The young boy answered, "They'll be back tomorrow for our Christmas party in Skyworld. Pit and Phosphora already got everything ready throughout the month before coming to sing some carols with us!"

"Good to know," said Aaron. "I've heard Santa Claus helped make arrangements up there, so we'll all be getting our presents in New Angel Land."

"Pit and Phosphora's fair kingdom with the Centurions as their loyal subjects!" beamed Ami. "I think the Light family's coming to the party as well."

"Light family?" wondered Phoebe. "Wait, you don't mean Dr. Light, Rock, Roll, Blues, Auto, Rush, Beat and Tango?"

Ami nodded in response. "Mm-hmm. Also Cut Man, Guts Man, Ice Man, Bomb Man, Fire Man, Elec Man, Time Man, Oil Man...and even the eight Robot Masters from Mega Man 9."

Yumi turned a few pages ahead in her book of Christmas carols. "Well, what're we waiting for, fellas? Let's keep going - I just know lots of people will show up and listen to our singing!"

"Our best pals from planet Bomber will be at the party too!" whooped Cheerful White. "I told Max it'd be fun to get to know everyone there, and he was like 'Ah, what the heck?'."

His black-armored ally, the "blue-eyed samurai" with a silver mohawk, formerly from planet Phantarion, shrugged it off. "Yeah, I guess it won't kill me to greet the other guests."

"Cool Black, Acrobat Aqua, Kid Blue, Bookworm Green and yeah, Giant Gold," said Cute Pink, glancing at the pages on her book of Christmas carols. "Anyhoo, here's another good one to sing!"

[End BGM]


[Overworld BGM: Snowball Scuffle (Kirby's Return to Dream Land)]

Meanwhile, Ralph and his friends are spending the holidays in Arendelle via Disneyland, for Diamond Arcade World was closed for both Christmas Eve and Day. That also meant even his fellow bad guys of Bad-Anon (M. Bison from Street Fighter II: The World Warrior included) were celebrating Christmas in their own games, therefore giving Ralph an idea to surprise them come tomorrow. But for now, a day at the winter wonderland with Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf was in order. Wario originally planned to tag along with Ralph on their adventure, but after having seen Keyla, Patricia and Maya in the group, he shrugged and figured that babysitting three Bouncing Ball Buddies wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

"H-h-hi..." greeted a nervous Maya.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Queen Elsa of Arendelle, and I'm sure you've met my sister, Princess Anna." She turned over to Ralph. "I'd like to thank you and your friends again for saving Disneyland and six of our fellow Disney Princesses from Vaati's tyranny. Why don't we give you guys a tour around our fair kingdom as we get to know each other?"

Felix bowed before her in response. "That would be lovely, Your Highness."

Elsa giggled happily. "Please, call me Elsa. I see you and Calhoun are doing very well!"

"Even a bad guy like me has standards," said Ralph. "There was no way we'd let that one-eyed Wind Mage get away with making damsels-in-distress out of Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, Belle and Jasmine."

"I tell ya," added Vanellope, "that creep tried to make poor Sofia his bride!"

"Pshhh, whaddya expect?!" scoffed Wario. "He'll kidnap ANY beautiful girl that catches his fancy regardless of age, whether she reminds him of Zelda or not."

Keyla noticed Maya whimpering at the thought of what might have happened, were she in that position. "Hey, it's okay. Vaati's already long gone now, and all's well in Disneyland."

"R-r-really? I can meet all the Disney Princesses without the k-kidnapping?"

Patricia calmed the timid Flying Girl down with a warm hug, similar to how sisters usually comfort each other. "Of course you can. Keyla and I will be right beside you all the way, we promise."

"YAY!" Maya jumped up and down in excitement, showing Anna and Elsa some of her tricks in addition to the balance-themed acts she learned from her two Best Bouncing Ball Buddies. She hopped on top of her big, bright pink bouncy ball (which she personally coined the "Sweet Pink Fairy Princess of Dreams") to perform a basic ball-walking act. However, she wavered quickly and almost fell off, seeing how she wasn't as fully experienced as Patricia was. Elsa was quick to pick her up in a motherly hold.

"I used to be afraid of my own ice powers long ago, but thanks to my undying affection for my dear sister, I've learned to control the magic." Elsa kissed Maya's cheek and continued, "One lesson I learned but was scared to understand back then: there's beauty in snow magic, but also danger. I had to learn to control it, lest fear overtake me. It wasn't easy because I didn't want my powers to hurt anyone...ever since the accident in my childhood which froze Anna. I never want anything bad to happen to her...even when her heart was unintentionally frozen by the loss of control over my powers. Only my act of true love saved her from certain death, as my love for others is the warmest emotion of all."

"Love will thaw," summarized Keyla. "That's what brought your sister back to life and got Hans deported from Arendelle for the attempted assassination."

"Th-they tried to k-kill you?" gasped Maya.

"Hans wanted control over the kingdom and my sister for himself, while the Duke of Weselton - or Weasel Town, haha! - wanted to exploit Arendelle's tradable goods. When I regained the throne, I officially cut ties with Weselton due to the Duke's cowardly methods of turning all my people against me. Now, fear is a big emotion, and can sometimes be difficult to control."

"Ms. Perivelle taught me something like that. I was afraid of trying something bowling, go-karting, mini-golf, or ball-walking...but then 9-Volt helped me overcome my fear of the pins being too far away, which in turn inspired Keyla and Patricia to teach me all they knew about balancing balls. I not only got my own bouncy ball, I also have a pink bowling ball too!" Maya showed a photo of herself sitting on a bed next to Sweet Pink Fairy Princess of Dreams, whilst holding her 6-lb. T-Zone Pink Bliss with both hands. Her outfit in the picture was a magical pink fairy princess dress, complete with a pair of fairy wings on the back, and a crown on her head with a volleyball decoration up front; the wings and crown's color was just as obvious. Each side of the enchanted dress had a different decoration based upon the magical properties Keyla and Patricia transferred over to Maya's pink bouncy ball. The front end's design was an orange bouncy ball placed above a white cloud like a sun, whereas the back end's design showed a black bowling ball with a golden halo atop. While Anna and Elsa were deeply impressed, Olaf couldn't help staring in awe at such a lovely outfit. He thought the sisters would look great for winter parties in an adult-sized costume similar to that of Maya's enchanted dress, only Elsa's would be light blue and Anna's could be green.

"Keyla's not just a Vampire Princess of Roseland," said Patricia, "she's also a Bowling Princess, while I'm the Mistress of Bouncing Balls. We both learned to combine both our talents with the use of angel magic, and we're slowly passing it onto Maya. Heaven's Light, as you can see, is the source of our combined powers."

"I wanna have fairy magic just like the Winx Club! Me, Keyla and Patty are gonna be the best Magical Girls someday!"

"My, you girls are growing up so fast!" smiled Anna. "9-Volt's a very sweet little boy to have such wonderful friends!"

"A white bouncy ball enchanted with magic, huh?" said a curious Olaf, eyeing the aforementioned ball that Keyla and Patricia often shared with each other and their fellow Bouncing Ball Buddies (9-Volt, Phoebe and Maya). "Neat!"

"I heard from Sofia that you two unlocked its magic by giving 9-Volt lots of love and kindness when he was turned into a baby by the foul Rudy and Rudeena Macrohard," stated Elsa. "Then again, who knew a sweet song held the magic to defeat the Macrohards'?"

[End BGM]


[Alert BGM: Boss Prelude (Kirby's Return to Dream Land)]

While they were touring Arendelle, little did they know Turbo was eavesdropping on them from a safe distance, his followers at the ready. "Oooh, look at them. Teaching the kids all about love, friendship and caring for other people, I see...Well, enough mush; I've waited long enough for this moment! When I bring Elsa before me, the world will think Santa kidnapped her!"

"You still think your Santa costume's gonna win her over?" doubted Magnet Bomber.

"You DARE question me? Unless of course you also lack a sense of drama...You see, I've been long denied my ultimate dream of becoming the world's greatest racer. Being the very best within my own game was only the first that I look back. While I indeed claimed Sugar Rush as my own before Ralph and Vanellope exposed my true form, there have been many other racing games that dared try to steal my thunder. Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off Road, Danny Sullivan's Indy Heat, Daytona USA, even Ridge get the picture. If Santa won't grant my wish, then I'll just deny him HIS wish of making people happy on Christmas Day!"

"Ahh, I get it now!" said Flame Mammoth. "You want them to think Santa's pulling a fast one on Mrs. Claus behind her back."

"I suppose you could say that...but enough listening in on everyone. Go, my minions!" He pointed his finger forward, signaling for the D5K Deutsche-toting Stalfos to jump from his jet-powered sleigh. Rather than standard-issue bullets, Turbo reprogrammed these guns from Goldeneye 007 to fire ice beams, a mod befitting to his anti-Christmas plot. "Do whatever you want with Anna, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf, but I want Elsa alive!"

"Hmph, whatever works for me," huffed Frost Walrus, pounding his spiked fists against each other. "Going 30 minutes without rioting bores me anyway."

Siren Bomber eyed Sergeant Calhoun holding hands with Felix. "Well, well, Tammy...we'll see whose shoe is on the other foot this time. A crying shame Wario's nosy girlfriend isn't here, but I suppose killing Anna and then bringing that rugged boyfriend of hers under my control will have to do."

"Let my minions soften them up a little," said Turbo.

"You know I don't like being denied my opportunity to brainwash any man for myself as I please, Turbo."

"Yes, yes, but what I mean is I'd like for us to see how they hold up first. If they can't hack it, then you and the Trix are more than welcome to bring terror upon Arendelle." Regardless of what he said, the Trix witches flew over to kinap Elsa while her friends were distracted. "...Or you could do that. I really have been dead for that long, haven't I?"

[End BGM]


[Fight BGM: Into the Dark Night (Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow)]

Hordes of Stalfos opened fire with frigid laser bursts raining down on the castle, freezing their victims in their wake. Only by Elsa's love and care for her people was she able to control the ice, even if that wasn't hers to begin with. Icy, on the other hand, couldn't wait to see how her own ice magic matches up against Elsa's.

"Since this is our first meeting, lemme introduce you. I'm Icy, she's Darcy, and the other one's Stormy. We're the Trix, acting on Turbo's behalf!"

"You're coming with him whether you like it or not!" threatened Darcy. "But everyone else won't know he disguised himself as Santa until it's too late. Stormy?"

"No sweat." Charging up electricity around her body, Stormy surrounded herself with a spherical purple cloud to unleash Globe Lightning, a purple beam of lightning at Elsa.

"Get back, Elsa!" Calhoun flew on her hoverboard in front of the Snow Queen to take the blast, which luckily didn't do too much damage to her body armor. She returned fire with a volley of plasma shots from her assault rifle, only for Icy to block it with Ice Wall. "Anna, Kristoff, you two get all the remaining civilians to safety, stat! Sven, Olaf, you go with them!"

"Right away!" acknowledged Kristoff. "C'mon, let's get them away from these cold-hearted witches while Calhoun and Elsa hold them off."

Magnet Bomber stood toe-to-toe with Wario, who couldn't help remembering how ridiculously easy his giant mech was in Super Bomberman 2. "Go ahead and think I'm just another mook! My Magnet Bombs have a rather magnetic personality, if you will."

"Cheerful White may be one of my bitter rivals, but nobody blows him up but me!"

"HA! I heard from the boss you once FAILED to steal his homeworld's precious treasures! But I still despite the little twerp even more than you'll ever do. Now get outta my way so I can kidnap Elsa before anyone else does!" Magnet Bomber jumped up high to dodge Wario's Corkscrew Conk and threw down a barrage of what appeared to be Magnet Man's Magnet Missiles, in addition to kicking down one Magnet Bomb after another like a soccer ball. "By the way, did I forget to mention Turbo also modded me with an extra trick or two?"

"AAACK! OW! Oh yeah?! I'll bet he unintentionally made you vulnerable to Magnet Man's weakness!" But of course, he wasn't exactly referring to Spark Shock from Mega Man 3, so he signaled for Patricia to bring down the bluish android with her lightning, crippling him momentarily long enough for Wario to grab him. "Y'know what they say, Magnet: once a stooge, always a stooge! CLEAR!"

Upon hearing that last word, Patricia got back with Keyla and Maya as Wario began swinging the dazed Dastardly Bomber around for one of his signature moves: the Wild Swing-Ding. As soon as it got faster, he let fly the screaming android straight into some of the Stalfos, blowing them to piles of bones as he detonated in an explosion.

"HWAAAAAARGH!!" roared Frost Walrus, sliding belly-first across the surface to knock Wario and the three Bouncing Ball Buddies away. "Is that all? What a let down, but I promise to end this quickly..."

"HEY WALRUS!" shouted Vanellope, pelting the oversized Maverick with some of her Cherry Bombs. "Try picking on me, why don'tcha!"

The blasts from her bombs set Frost Walrus on fire, melting the icy tusks off his body momentarily. "OW, OW, OW! THAT BURNS! Humph, what's that dirty-haired kid up to?! I don't have time for you now, junior!"

"Ah, quit your griping and fight already!"

"Ohhh...that does it, you're goin' DOWN!"

He regenerated the ice on his mouth and shoulders to commence battle with the kid, but Ralph charged in to punch Frost Walrus in the face. "You first!" The oversized Maverick retaliated by body sliding into his two opponents, followed by firing ice shards from his shoulders which then stuck to the ground with their spikes showing. Felix healed the wounds on his friends' bodies, albeit one at a time, with his Magic Hammer prior to running back to Calhoun and Elsa's assistance. Then Frost Walrus created his Frost Tower by exhaling his icy breath into a large icicle, and smashed it with his fists so its big shards rained everywhere, not caring if they inflicted friendly fire upon the Stalfos or the Trix, or Flame Mammoth.

"Whoa, watch it!" called Flame Mammoth. "Still, I'm lucky ice isn't my weakness."

[End BGM]
[Final Smash BGM: Ralph - All-Star Theme (Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed)]

Just then, a Smash Ball appeared out of nowhere, giving Ralph a chance to show off his Final Smash. He broke it open with his bare hands, causing him to glow a golden aura. "WRECKING TIME!" as he called it, summoning a bricked building from the ground, unsurprisingly titled Niceland Apartments. Once he spoke his catchphrase, "I'm gonna wreck it!", all bets were off. He climbed up the building and started smashing it apaert, sending bricks flying around in the process. After about ten seconds, he finished up by jumping high and crashing down on top of the replicant fist-first, completely destroying it in an explosion of bricks. Many of the Stalfos were destroyed in the process, whereas Flame Mammoth and Frost Walrus suffered heavy damage to their metallic bodies.

[End BGM]
[Fight BGM: Battle Theme B (Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls (GBA, via FFII))]

Flame Mammoth had his eyes set on Ralph. "Wah ha ha hah! You just bit off more than you can chew, big guy! I'll make sure you regret it!" He spewed some flammable oil from his trunk, followed by setting it ablaze with his Fire Wave in order to hurt his enemies. He added his Jump Press into the mix by leaping as high as he could, flattening Ralph in the process and knocking everyone else off their feet. "Now it's time to stomp the spirit of Christmas into dust!"

"'T!" Ralph struggled to break free, causing Flame Mammoth to lose his balance and fall on the ground rear-first. "Even bad guys like me have standards! But Turbo's a Maverick, just like you and Frost Walrus!"

"Turbo must be as crazy as you say. He keeps talking about how you and Felix are the future of retro arcade worlds. Can you believe that, Ralph?"

"Less talking, more smashing!" Wario stunned Flame Mammoth with his trademark Body Slam (which, ironically, looked more like a shoulder barge). "Hey kids! NOW!"

"Let's do it, Patricia!" Keyla called to the Mistress of Bouncing Balls. "Vanellope, stay with Maya while we show her how we Bouncing Ball Buddies kick butt."

Maya mustered up enough courage to cheer her two best friends on. "G-g-go get 'em!"

Having made certain they already transformed into their angel dresses (Keyla's being white, whereas Patricia's was blue) with Heaven's Light in their possession, they floated a few feet off the ground in sync with their angel wings. Next, they chanted the following words in the form of a song, as if to cast a magic spell that would aid them and their friends:

Roll, roll, roll your ball
'Round as much as you like
Valiantly, valiantly, valiantly, valiantly,
And you're ready to bowl a strike!

Then rainbow-colored glitter appeared beneath their feet out of nowhere, each forming a spherical shape until a black cannonball materialized into existence; one for Keyla, and the other for Patricia. Obviously, each enchanted cast-iron ball was as big as a tenpin bowling ball, reflecting both girls' talents (Keyla = bowling; Patricia = ball-walking), or so Maya explained as best as she could to Vanellope. The moment the two supernatural children performed their tag-team attack, Bowling for Cannonballs, by rolling around whilst maintaining their balance at high speed, bashing every Stalfos into bones like bowling pins. Keyla dashed around Flame Mammoth, landing every punch to his oversized body as she continued to retain balance atop her enchanted cannonball, and yanked his trunk clean off with all her might, preventing him from using anymore of his flammable oil supply. She tossed it to Patricia, who wasted no time squirting what remained of the oil inside the trunk, all over Frost Walrus.

Finally, one blast from Vanellope's Cherry Bomb was enough to set him on fire again, this time he exploded, its force knocking Flame Mammoth into a castle wall and back on the snowy ground. He glowed bright white upon doing "the flop" face-first, detonating in a larger explosion that sent Keyla and Patricia careening off their enchanted cannonballs.

[End BGM]


"Oh yeah," Maya told Vanellope, "their cannonballs will continue rolling forward until Keyla and Patricia make them disappear themselves, as they don't explode like bombs on contact with something, or someone. Their enchanted balls won't "accidentally" hit an innocent person either, even if Keyla and/Patricia do get knocked off, but rather magically stop instead. See?"

"And this is how we make our cannonballs disappear whenever we don't need our tag-team move anymore, Vanellope, like this." Patricia emphasized her words by snapping her fingers in unison with Keyla, causing the balls to vanish in rainbow glitter.

"Cool!" beamed the little racer.

Just then, Felix came running in a panicked manner. "Guys! GUYS! I've got bad news! S-Siren Bomber came outta nowhere and snatched Elsa while we were chasing off the Trix!"

"What?! Ohhh, the nerve of that she-devil..." Keyla hissed in anger, with her fangs showing. "She and Turbo can't shatter the Christmas spirit as long as we're around to set things right!"

Sergeant Calhoun took a glance at her handheld radar. "They must have flown somewhere to the west. Luckily I spotted Turbo's fake Santa costume and sleigh, and shot a tracking device onto it before Icy, Darcy and Stormy attacked us. Let's move out, people!"


"Faster than a donut! Stronger than cardboard! I am Wario-Man!!" ~Wario (from WarioWare: Touched!)

"What is Bill Rizer? It is just the name of a single entity who has been gone for centuries." ~Master Contra (from Neo Contra)

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 Posted: Dec 26 2016, 11:19 PM
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PART 2 OF 2: Bah Humkoop to you

[Overworld BGM: Secret Mine (Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon)]

"YES! Yes yes yes yes YESSS! At last, I have the Snow Queen of Arendelle! Once I set up my own broadcast, everyone in Disneyland and the outer world will think Santa is the villain for selfishly denying my wish to be a one-of-a-kind unstoppable racer!"

Turbo gloated to all the minions in his ice palace, much different from Elsa's, that his crime would go unpunished. He cared nothing for the fact that Magnet Bomber, Frost Walrus and Flame Mammoth had already been destroyed, for he believed he had already won the battle. "Stalemate or not, it was all in my favor to make sure nobody else has a merry Christmas or a happy New Year. Wouldn't you agree, my betrothed?"

"I'm not your betrothed! Vanellope told me all about your plans to control her world by manipulating everyone into hating her! And besides, your scheme won't work because I can control the ice around me with my magic and not everyone is as gullible as you think."

"Oh no? See the diamond ring I put on your finger while you were unconscious? It's actually a cursed ring in disguise that I made up myself, which will prevent you from using your ice powers...but I can, with my own diamond ring! You could say it's the equivalent of the Osmose spell that Black Mages often use to drain their enemies' mystic energy. Vanellope and her big buddy will pay dearly for destroying MY right to rule Sugar Rush, because I'll have you know I didn't reprogram it to let them take it away from me!" He glanced over at a crystal ball he had placed in the center of his throne room, which displayed whatever he desired to see onscreen. "Well, well, well...I see they're all trying to get here with the help of your guardian."

"Marshmallow lives in my ice palace at the North Mountain, and is friends with Anna, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf. He'll help them save me and Christmas in time for the New Year, just you wait!"

Turbo could only grin maliciously at Elsa's response. "We'll see, Elsa...we'll see..."


After bidding farewell to Marshmallow and the Snowgies for helping them find the shortcut to Turbo's palace, Ralph and friends continued on their journey to get inside. But knowing Turbo, it's very likely he'll have had it booby-trapped to prevent anyone from saving Elsa and maintaining Santa's reputation. And with no time to call for backup from outside Diamond City's digital realm, Ralph had to think very carefully rather than just use his colossal hands to get by. Getting inside the only entrance up front was simple enough, but navigating their way to the throne room would be a different story. If Ralph were to take the direct approach once inside, the Trix witches would have already prepared to do him in by making everything chaotic with their spells. Felix wondered if sneaking around might help, but Ralph had doubts on whether it'll work either. Seeing how Siren Bomber had become Turbo's personal bodyguard, she would impersonate Elsa and trick them into a deadly trap with the Icy, Darcy and Stormy around to prevent any possible means of escape.

"Why not try a Trojan Horse trick?" piped Wario. "I hate to admit it, but it worked well for Mario, Luigi and Toad when they tried rescuing Peach from Bowser and the Hammer Bros. at what he thought was an impenetrable fortress. Hmph, come to think of it, I wish I thought of that when I tried taking over Mario's pathetic excuse for a castle..." His last sentence got everyone else looking at him funny. "What?! He was mean to me in our childhood! I had to get back at him for picking on me, especially when we used to play cowboys! He got to be the sheriff 1,255 times, and I was always the rustler! I got my chance to be the sheriff once, but he made fun of me!"

"I'm sure he was just playing," assured Felix. "He didn't mean to be mean and all."

"...Weh, I guess so. He did tell me we shouldn't hold any grudges from the past, but I'm still gonna defeat him at any tournament we compete in, be it Smash Bros. or Mario Kart!"

"C-c-can we save Elsa now?" asked Maya, whom Anna comforted with a reassuring hug. "Pretty please?"

"Yeah yeah, we're going already. Geez..."

"But," interrupted Calhoun, "we can't use wood. We'll have to try a different approach."

"We can use this," suggested Kristoff, hauling in a large ice sculpture of Olaf. "Thought it might come in handy someday."

"And it looks just like me!" chirped Olaf. "But won't we be seen, since the sculpture's crystal clear?"

Felix got out his magic hammer. "Not a problem, Olaf! In just a moment, we won't have to worry about blowing our cover."


"Wait a that...? Nah, couldn't be." Turbo took a closer look at his crystal ball.

"It's a giant statue of Olaf," Elsa paused to think of something else to say without rousing suspicion, despite not having a clue why the ice sculpture was outside. "...they, errr, made! Yeah, they made it after finally realizing they're no match for you." She put on a forced smile in hopes that he would buy her story, whilst secretly praying Anna and the others knew what they were doing in order to free her.

"They did? REALLY? OOOOOOH-WEEE!" Turbo clapped his hands in glee. "It's about time Ralph and Vanellope admitted how wrong they were for dethroning me out of jealousy! Icy, Darcy, Stormy, bring in the sculpture! I'll use the snow magic I siphoned from Elsa's body to remake it in my image. The snowman shape is rather...meh, and I mean that."

A few minutes later, the Trix witches brought the sculpture inside with their spells, never stopping to see whether something's amiss. "I've always wanted to have an ice sculpture for Christmas," commented Icy.

"Yeah," agreed Darcy, "but too bad the people of Earth have yet to invent one that won't melt."

"Ehh, too bad for them," said Stormy. "There, this spot oughta do the trick."

As soon as they left the throne room, two figures came out of the Olaf statue from behind: a timid Maya holding hands with what appeared to be...Siren Bomber? Even Turbo was surprised, but it didn't matter to him since, to him, he already got his revenge on Santa Claus. "Ahh...I thought you were headed out with the Trix. What brings you here so early, Siren?"

"Just taking this little prisoner right where she belongs. Another of a buncha brats who refused to surrender even after we beat them at the castle."

"Good! I'll leave Elsa in your care while I prepare for my broadcast of the century." Turbo hopped off the king's throne and walked out of the room, and as soon as the coast was clear, Siren transformed into someone more pure-hearted.

"Th-thanks for letting me hold your hand, Anna," Maya said quietly. "I was scared when you had to transform into her."

"It's okay, sweetie. Yuna gave me a Dressphere as a souvenir when Kristoff and I brought Olaf along for our summer vacation. She told me it would come in handy someday. And besides, it's only fair if us good girls can fool the enemy too."

"Anna!" called Elsa, getting up from the queen's throne to hug her dear sister lovingly. "I'm so happy you came here to rescue me! I see you put the Dressphere to a good use."

"Mm-hmm. All I had to do was hold Maya's hand so she'd know I'm still the same Anna, in disguise. What's that ring you got there?"

"Turbo used it to steal my snow magic, so I'm afraid we won't have an easy way out."

[End BGM]

"Indeed there won't be!" boomed Turbo's voice. "I knew something was off, but I didn't expect this! Only I'M allowed to pull a Trojan Horse trick!"

The real Siren Bomber stood alongside him to add her two cents, "And only I'm allowed to impersonate other girls to trick people! You'll never get out alive!"

Thus it was Ralph's cue to burst out of the ice sculpture with his huge hands. "The jig's up, Turbo! Give Elsa's snow magic back right now!"


"I can't believe you would do stuff like this!" cried Patricia. "Doesn't Christmas mean anything to you?"

Turbo growled in response, staring daggers at the Mistress of Bouncing Balls and the Vampire/Bowling Princess of Roseland. "Christmas?! Christmas is a bah kumhoop! A bah humkoop! A BAH! HUM! KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!" The echoing sounds of his loud voice caused icy stalactites to fall to the ground, causing him to yelp in fear for his life. "Get them while I figure out how to work that snow magic!"

[Boss BGM: Battle Theme A (Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls (FFII, via GBA))]

Icy started off with her Ice Wall, but Ralph easily punched his way through it while Vanellope followed up by throwing her Cherry Bombs at the Trix. "HEY! Watch the hair!"

"Oh, lighten up, Icy!" retorted Vanellope. "Guess all the days I spent in Neo Bomberman between hours finally paid off!"

Keyla and Patricia enchanted their keywords to trigger the "Bowling for Cannonballs" tag-team move once more, and hopped on their own cannonballs to roll around the throne room. This time, they used their angel powers to enhance the balls with the ability to draw in - and reflect - any spell the Trix could throw at their friends. Keyla could already predict what will happen next as she watched Stormy fire a ball lightning at Felix. Within range, it instead flew towards Keyla's ball and was reflected back at Stormy, resulting in a bad hair day. Patricia did the same to Icy and Darcy with her own lightning bolt.

"Do you mangy little twerps know how HARD it is to fix our hairdo every morning?!" whined Stormy.

"I might as well do so again," said Siren Bomber, transforming not into her usual monstrous form (Scylla), but rather a Lamia Queen. "But I get to have some fun with all of you goody-goodies!"

Wario gasped in awe. "Seriously?! She can do that too?!"

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you guys," apologized Felix. "Siren Bomber's grown stronger than before, that she doesn't need to rely on a Smash Ball anymore, just to turn into a female monster of her choice! I barely saw her do that before she knocked us down back at the castle!"

"Sleep for me, my pretty, while I finish your beloved wife!" Siren punched him in the face, causing him to fall asleep instantly.

"I'm still gonna grind you into the ground, evil she-witch of Red Falcon!!" Wario flew forth with his Corkscrew Conk, which Siren countered with a mere slap to his head, knocking him out for a snooze next to Felix. Then she turned towards Kristoff and cast Charm, a heart-themed spell that involved blowing an enchanted kiss at her foe - preferably male - and turn them against their allies.

"Now you're mine, Kristoff! Kill Anna and Elsa while I deal with Sergeant Calhoun!"

Maya screamed in fright at the idea that Siren Bomber, as a Lamia Queen, would brainwash people with a kiss. But she couldn't just stand there...she had to act! She had about had enough of the black-hearted "Singing Beauty" bending male victims to her will, but she didn't want to hurt Kristoff just to snap him out of the spell. Unless...that's it! She picked up Sweet Pink Fairy Princess of Dreams with both hands, and like a gunshot, she sent it flying with her wind powers to bonk Kristoff's head, freeing him in the most harmless way possible.

"Such a clever child...but what's to stop me from trying again?"

"Oh happy magic that dwells inside Sweet Pink Fairy Princess of Dreams...hear my plea!" Maya spoke to her pink bouncy ball. "Grant the power I need to protect me! Encourage me to be brave, that my Best Bouncing Ball Buddies and all our friends be thankful for the save!" She had high hopes that her words might work despite being her very first time doing so, not to mention the fact that she made them up. To her surprise, the bright-pink ball floated upwards like a balloon and glowed a golden aura, shooting a pink beam of light at the ground in front of her. The moment it stopped, a cannonball about the same size as Keyla and Patricia's - only pink instead of black - appeared before her!

Siren Bomber, however, was not worried about the outcome, for she cast Blink on herself to make it almost impossible for physical attacks to connect, leading Maya to hyperventilate anxiously. "Th-th-there's too many of her...m-m-my ball will never make it..."

"Hang on, Maya," called Keyla, "help is on the way!"

"A fellow Bouncing Ball Buddy never leaves one another behind," added Patricia, bowling over the duplicates alongside the little vampire until only one remained, therefore negating the effects of Siren's Blink spell.

"You can do it, Maya!" hollered Calhoun, driving out the Trix as best as she could.

"Okay...I can do goes!" The little blonde focused her wind powers on her enchanted cannonball, and took one last glance at Siren Bomber. "Take...THIS!" And much like a lit cannon firing its projectile, Maya's ball flew as quick as her wind could take it, striking Siren Bomber hard in a vital spot, the impact causing her to crash into Turbo. "Wreck-It Ralph...Queen Elsa...NOW!"

"It's time I took back my snow magic!" shouted Elsa, switching rings with Turbo so that the magic he stole from her was brought back to its rightful place. Then she took both rings off and set them on the ground, followed by Ralph smashing them into powder with his fists. "And a fitting end for a would-be ice king and his corrupt mistress." Elsa turned the throne into an icy cage, whilst conjuring up a ball-and-chain for each villain to restrain by the leg. "There we go! Big as a bowling ball, and just heavy enough to keep them from escaping and ruining Christmas anymore. Vanellope?"

"You got it, Els!" The child racer glitched her way past the icy bars and touched the balls with her hands before teleporting back out. "That'll keep them from using their powers to break free. Serves him right for strapping me to a set of glitch-proof chains in the first place."

[End BGM]

"No, NO, NOOO! NO FAIR!" ranted Turbo. "Another time, you glory hogs! ANOTHER TIIIME!!"

"And tell Purple Basilisk he's been a pain in my ass for not letting me have my way with the lot of you," Siren glared hatefully, "especially Fix-It Felix Jr.!"

"Don't mess with Ralph and Elsa of Team Crushed Ice!" The large bad guy high-fived the Snow Queen of Arendelle. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Elsa blushed a bright pink on her cheeks. "You could say that. Thanks for coming all the way to help me save Santa's reputation and Christmas itself."

"And just in time for tomorrow's Christmas party at Skyworld!" stated Wario. "We'll tell you all about how cool it's gonna be on the way back!"

As for the Trix witches, having sensed they might be next to be caged in ice, they escaped with their lives back to Purple Basilisk's hideout in the underworld, presumably to set him and his four Chaotic Bombers free...but what's to come afterwards would be for only the three of them to know, and Basilisk to find out.


The next day, all the party guests from various worlds gathered up at Pit and Phosphora's fair kingdom in Skyworld, in addition to the Disney Princesses and their respective loved ones, grateful as ever to the heroes for having helped to keep Disneyland and its surrounding realms safe from evil hands. Elsa decided to put on a show for everyone by creating an ice-skating rink at the center of the palace garden, but Ralph didn't need a pair of ice skates to dance with Elsa. He was fine just the he way is, much to Vanellope, Felix and Calhoun's delight.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for," announced Mona, "give it up for Wreck-It Ralph and Queen Elsa of Crushed Ice!"

[Ending BGM: Joy to the World (in C Major)]

Joy to the world! The Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the earth! the savior reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make his blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of his righteousness,
And wonders of his love,
And wonders of his love,
And wonders, wonders, of his love

[End BGM]


(Ending Credits)
Wreck-It Ralph - JOHN C. REILLY
Vanellope von Schweetz - SARAH SILVERMAN
Fix-It Felix Jr. - JACK MCBRAYER
Sergeant Tamora Jean "T.J." Calhoun - JANE LYNCH

-JapanAnimeGirl's (aka. HedgehogSailorSun) OCs-


Blaze Bomber, lead conductor - SCOTT MENVILLE
Cheerful White/Shirobon - TARA STRONG
Cute Pink/Pretty Bomber - JANICE KAWAYE
G-Bomber - HERSELF
Dark Pit (aka. Pittoo) - ANTONY DEL RIO
Aaron (me) - MYSELF
Yumi Yoshimura - GREY DELISLE
Arctic Bomber - GREY DELISLE

Frost Walrus - SCOTT MCNEIL (voice like Beast Man from the 2002 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe TV series)
Magnet Bomber - MICHAEL DOBSON (voice like Starscream from Transformers: Armada)

[End Credits]


"Faster than a donut! Stronger than cardboard! I am Wario-Man!!" ~Wario (from WarioWare: Touched!)

"What is Bill Rizer? It is just the name of a single entity who has been gone for centuries." ~Master Contra (from Neo Contra)

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-A very special thanks to Kenshin (aka. Yumifan) for these sigs.-
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